Broken Thoughts

[srichard.livejournal.com]

TITLE: Broken Thoughts
RATING: G
QUESTION: What was the most uncertain period of your life? The most certain?
CHARACTER: River



Uncertain is the whole life—certain is death, when everything is done. But I died once—they don't know, but I did. One year after the code was complete. Till then, I waited, hoped. Started at sounds and shadows. But a year passed, and then I died. Everything that was hope was done, gone. He didn't care, wasn't coming. I was certain, then, I knew.

But I was wrong. Died for nothing, and that's why I could live again, plunged into uncertainty. Always uncertain. Most uncertain? I stood. Stood beneath and listened, and they talked, and their thoughts, his thoughts, the ones to command, they swirled and broke. After the gun, his thoughts swirled and broke, because he picks people up, doesn't put them down except in graves. But then, they broke, and I didn't know. Didn't know where home was, until the nightmare came and showed him what I was. Then I knew again, but wasn't dead.