Good Little Girl

[srichard.livejournal.com]

TITLE: Good Little Girl
RATING: G
QUESTION: What has come the closest to breaking you?
CHARACTER: River



Closest is silly—what do you really want to know? What broke the most? What tore out parts thought dead, alive and screaming?

I was always bad, when I was there, when I was what River isn't. I was bad, and they had so many ways to punish and hurt and control. When the surgeries started it was easy. If I wouldn't take care of myself, they'd have to shave. Good reasons, to be sure. Keeps from infection, makes it easier to take the stitches out. They'd shave me, leave me bald and naked, unless I would be good, not wash or comb, clean, be cleanly, good, such a good girl. Broke then, because I couldn't. Because Simon used to tug my hair and learned to braid just so he could do it instead of Nanny. Simon. If he'd come and find me bald, how would he know me, why would he take me?

So I broke. Broke just like a good little girl, and they were so pleased.